When we are running after the material life, we are compromising our principles. Once a Muslim is in the selfish pursuit of worldly life, he will become spiritually and morally blinded, unable to see what is good or bad for him. If one doesn’t know what is good for him, can he make the right choice or benefit others?
There is an Arabic saying that the glass will not give except what it contains. A glass of milk can only give milk. Similarly, a heart full of goodness will give goodness. A heart filled with garbage can only produce garbage. If our hearts are filled with all our material needs and desires, then what do we have to give others?
If we forget who we are, our roles and responsibilities, we forget what is of benefit to us. If our goals are scattered, we will choose our spouses accordingly, with no guiding principles, but rather based on passion, materialistic values and living for the moment. We mislabel it as liberation and free choice, but in reality, we will be chained to a miserable life if that choice is exercised wrongly.
If we are serious, the only cure of our bad habits is to go back to Allah, and to clean ourselves up internally before we form any lifelong commitments to anyone else. We have to know what our goal in life is, and from there, we can determine the kind of person we want as our companion to achieve that goal. If we know what our goal is, then we will know whether a person will benefit us in achieving the goal, or distract us from it. Our choice will be guided by principle, not by desire or longing.