Have we ever wondered whether the reasons our dreams don’t come true is because we may be chasing the wrong dreams, and that the chase is backed up by the wrong guidelines? Whenever we aspire towards something, and whenever we achieve something in life, we feel as if a fundamental need has been fulfilled. We overlook the basic truth that nothing in this world is perfect and that nothing lasts forever.
Human beings by nature are flawed, and in turn, create flawed environments. No one lives eternally and nothing exists infinitely. We turn to find love in the wrong places and seek happiness from the wrong sources. We set certain benchmarks to satisfy our emotional needs, not realizing that these benchmarks themselves are flawed and temporary in nature. We form attachments to our dunia and the people in it. The goals which compel us towards achieving what we perceive as a successful life are in themselves hollow and fleeting.
Consequently, we find temporary happiness in our lives in the form of jobs, children, possessions, spouses – only we don’t realize they are temporary. We think them as the be all and end all, and if not achieved, a major component of our lives would have collapsed or have no meaning. Hence, we view each failure, each obstacle, each failed relationship, as catastrophic. We over react and accord these events more emphasis and importance than they deserve.
How can we peg our happiness onto people who in themselves are imperfect and have their own sadness and problems? When we do that, we are anchoring ourselves onto people who themselves are impermanent and erratic. Children grow up, personalities and feelings of spouses change over time, any job situation is dynamic, possessions get stolen or decay, the strong can become weak and the weak can become strong. Even our own temperaments alter over time in response to all the situations we face. Nothing is permanent, everything around us is in a constant state of flux.
And the reality is that, everybody that we form attachments to will sooner or later depart from us, whether voluntarily or through death.
If we keep chasing these temporary dreams and fixing ourselves on temporary situations in the false hope that they will give us permanent happiness, the inevitable result is that our dreams and our hearts will be broken again and again every time there is a change in circumstances. The cycle of sadness will continue.